


The Direct Approach

by Moonlitdark



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hogwarts, Humor, M/M, Matchmaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:22:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28429986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonlitdark/pseuds/Moonlitdark
Summary: Tired of Harry's obsessing over Malfoy, Ron finally takes matters into his own hands.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 115





	The Direct Approach

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted a long time ago on Livejournal. So if it seems familiar, you've probably read it before.

Malfoy was scowling again. Pointedly in Harry’s direction. Anxious, Harry took grasp of the nearest diversion. 

Ron looked more puzzled than surprised. 

“Umm… Harry, can I have my hand back?” 

Hastily released, the appendage retreated to the protection of Ron’s lap. 

“Sorry,” Harry mumbled, “I didn't realise that was your hand.”

“What did you _think_ it was?”

Harry really hadn't thought it through that far. He just hadn't wanted Malfoy to think he had nothing better to do than sit and stare back across the expanse of tables. Even if Harry couldn't think of a more engrossing occupation. But it seemed to have worked; Malfoy's glower had shifted to someone else. 

Ron chuckled from beside him. “You know, fondling other boys probably won't help to hide the fact that you're gay.”

“I'm not trying to hide anything.”

“Just as well really. 'Cos you're doing a crap job of it. If you want to shag Malfoy, then just _shag_ him.”

Harry nearly choked on his pumpkin juice, sipping slowly at which had been his latest attempt at finding something else to occupy his time. “What?”

“All the obsessing you’ve been doing lately. And the longing, heartfelt gazes.”

“I haven’t been longing for anything,” protested Harry, while inwardly wondering how Malfoy's hands would feel against his skin. “Besides, it wouldn’t matter if I did. He’s leaving soon, anyway.”

“We’re _all_ leaving – it’s the end of the year. Give him something to remember you by. A going away present. Call it whatever you like, just stop moping about.”

“I don’t _want_ to shag him.”

“Well, you definitely want to do something…” Ron poked cautiously at a concoction which Harry thought might be rice pudding. “Oh, _that’s_ the problem.”

Since his friend’s version of logic was often skewed, Harry was hesitant to ask for details but knew from experience that Ron wouldn't shut up until he did. “What problem?”

“You want _more_ than a shag. You like him.”

At least Harry was now staring at Ron instead of Malfoy. That was ridiculous, unfounded and offending… and oh god, it was actually _true_. Draco Malfoy was extremely attractive, there was really no denying the fact. But Harry would try. In silence, from way over here. 

“Huh… so you won’t be shagging me then?”

Ron's throwaway comment almost caused Harry to accidentally stab his thumb with the knife he was fiddling with. “I… er… what?”

“I thought that it might be a perk of being your best friend. My payoff for all those years of loyalty.”

“Ron… I, I… it’s not that I don’t…” Harry ran out of babble. Deciding that there was really no fool proof response to an unwelcome sexual proposition from a friend, he opted to cease talking before he worsened the situation. 

“Close your mouth. I was only joking. Go get Malfoy.”

Greatly relieved that he wasn't going to be required to fend off a horny redhead, Harry muttered, “Don’t be stupid.”

Ron tapped his fingers on the table thoughtfully for a few moments before inflicting his next suggestion. “How about asking him out? You know, on a date.”

The utensil pierced the skin of Harry's palm. Flinching with pain and shock, Harry spluttered, “A _date_? With _Malfoy_?”

“Why not? Seems the best thing to do, if you ever want to get to the shagging. Or anything else,” Ron grinned. “You can find out if all the staring he does means that he likes you too.”

Setting the knife down before he caused permanent scarring, Harry sighed. “He doesn't. And I _don't_ like him.”

“This denial stuff is pissing me off.”

“What do you expect me to do? Come right out and make a pass at him? Something along the line of, 'Hey, Malfoy - fancy a fuck?' And then what? All I'll need to do is wait for him to fling all my clothes off and take me up on the offer?” Harry forced himself back into silence, aware that somewhere in the midst of his rant it seemed to have slipped his mind that he was meant to be in denial.

“Sounds like a plan. _Malfoy!_ ” Ron yelled towards the other side of the room. To Harry's sickening horror, the blond head swivelled in response.

“ _Ron!_ What the hell are you doing?”

“Moving things along. Malfoy, Harry wants to talk to you!”

“I do _not_!”

The shouted reply sounded intrigued, but wary. “What does Potter want to discuss?”

“He has a question to ask you,” smirked Ron.

“Ron… shut _up_ ,” hissed Harry, noting with alarm that Malfoy was sauntering unhurriedly across the room. At least Malfoy's entourage wasn't accompanying him, although they did appear interested in events.

Harry still hadn't thought of either a good way out of this or a suitable method of slaughtering his best friend by the time Malfoy reached them. 

Studying the cluttered dishes on the table intently, Harry was aware that too many sets of expectant eyes were trained on him. It was quickly obvious that Malfoy was becoming impatient to hear a reason for his summoning. 

“Speak, Potter.”

“I… don't have anything to say. Ron's just mucking about.”

“Really. Well, it was bloody hilarious.”

Harry was hoping that Malfoy would simply turn around in disgust, but Ron wasn't finished yet. “Harry would like you to accompany him on a walk around the grounds.”

“A nice little stroll, Potter?”

“No.”

Ron had the decency to at least look worried as Harry glared at him and Malfoy surveyed them both with contemplation.

Malfoy's head tilted sharply towards the door, but through his embarrassment Harry didn't understand the meaning until the Slytherin spoke. “Come on, then.”

Harry was certain that he still didn't completely comprehend. “You're actually agreeing to this?”

“I'm curious,” shrugged Malfoy. He didn't elaborate further.

Ron shoved at Harry's back in an attempt to remove him from the bench. “Go.”

Resigned to his fate, Harry stood on shaking legs, trying not to appear as nervous as he felt.

Malfoy didn't walk quickly, instead he matched Harry's slow progress towards the exit.

A chirpy voice rang out when they reached the door, but now that he was starting to achieve a slightly more confident stride, Harry wasn't inclined to stop.

“Have fun, Harry! Don’t come back until you’ve shagged him.”

Oddly, Malfoy didn't stop either.


End file.
